I made up the questions for Meme Monday (with my preciouses Hannah and Nicole and anyone else who needs a post idea and a laugh, and with fond remembrance of Shan and her Knowing Me Knowing You meme, which I always loved - wait, that sounds like she's dead, she's TOTALLY not dead, she just doesn't do the meme anymore, or hasn't for a while, or something, she does a lot of volunteer work, she's very busy, I'M SORRY SHAN!.). I knew when I threw in the spider one that I was playing with fire.
|Photo by Scott Akerman|
I knew Nicole was going to say calculus, I KNEW IT (let's just skip over how patently unfair it is that Nicole is good at calculus, can write really well AND has perky boobs). I have a calculus story, although it doesn't actually involve any math. I was fine at math until high school, although I never loved it. In high school, I kind of hated it, although I was never in actual danger of failing, or getting less than an 85 or anything, plus my boyfriend was allowed to come over more if he was tutoring me in math, so that was cool. But when I put calculus and OAC physics on my timetable for Grade 13 (yes, we had grade 13, I'm ancient, let's move on), leaving no spares, because I thought I should take them, as character-building or penance or something, the guidance counsellor (who knew me pretty well), called me to her office and said HAVE YOU LOST YOUR BLEEPING MIND? And said I didn't need them for what I was going to do in university, and they'd only drag my average down, and frankly, the teachers were afraid it would precipitate a total psychotic break and result in damage to school property and a lot of paperwork. So I switched to drama and a spare and had a perfectly lovely senior year.
What? Oh, my actual favourite subject? Dunno. You'd think it would be anything where I could just write, so it probably was, but I think mostly anything that had a funny teacher. I hated school, it made me anxious. Duh.
2. How did you meet your spouse?
He lived on the other wing of my residence floor in first year - the druggie wing, which is hilarious since he can't even inhale. The guys next door to him came in on the first day, moved all the furniture out of their room, filled it with futons and Persian carpets and a lizard cage, and had a giant blowtorch named Mr. Toker. He was seventeen and a little out of his element. He was also an engineer, and the first few times I met him I thought he was an obnoxious little twerp. Then he dated one of my friends for a while and I thought he was a fairly entertaining obnoxious little twerp. Then he moved in with my BFF Zarah in third year, so I couldn't avoid seeing him a lot, and he'd broken up with my friend, and we always kind of enjoyed arguing with and insulting each other, and I went over one night to watch the Blue Jays play for the pennant and we drank a bunch of beer. And we lived happily ever after.
3. Coffee or tea?
Diet Pepsi. I think coffee is vile. I like tea, but I'm like Nicole with the laziness over boiling and steeping, unless I'm trying not to snack in the evening and then I try to use it in place of snacking, but now if I drink it too late in the evening it gives me heartburn or makes me have to pee in the middle of the night. So I drink a lot of water. I'm not like Hannah with the tea snobbery - I don't think I can tell Red Rose from Earl Gray. I recently learned that you're not supposed to actually boil the water for green tea, which is an earth-shattering revelation, since I often drink green tea because it's supposed to be 'good for you' (character building, penance - HAVE I NOT GROWN AT ALL?) but it always tastes like dishwater. I haven't actually tried making it the new way (I gave up on it, because it tasted like crap), but I'll keep you posted.
4. Public speaking - no big deal, or would you rather die?
Until I was finally medicated for depression and anxiety, I would have undergone any manner of torture to avoid public speaking. I did senior debating for a while because some teacher said it would look good on my résumé (plus, character buil- fuck, I want to smack MYSELF at this point) and after that year, my parents asked me to never do it again, because in the lead-up to every debate I was making them wish they'd never had children. Every presentation I had to make in front of the class seemed like the actual literal end of the world, or made me wish for it. I would hyperventilate. I would shake. Sometimes I would throw up. Afterwards, I would sleep for thirty hours and then feel like I had cured cancer or discovered a new planet, which was nice, but it never lasted long, and then I'd start getting anxious for the next one.
|Photo by tuneful87|
5. That spider crawling up the water spout - is it 'eensy weensy' or 'itsy bitsy'?
Itsy-bitsy! Itsy-bitsy!! ITSY GODAMMNED BITSY!!! (When I try to type 'bitsy' really fast, I keep typing 'bitchy', which is kind of appropriate). I don't know WHY I feel so passionate about this, but I really, really do. When Angus was little, he would say he wanted to do "Bitsy Bider". That might have something to do with it. If the Blues Clues tape where they do the Itsy Bitsy Spider had said eensy-weensy, I would have thrown Steve out on his ass. I'm giving Hannah a pass because she's cute, and we hardly ever do song games when we're together at Blissdom anyway.